7 DEC 2016 - 2JAN 2017 SALVATION ARMY #1 TYLER, TEXAS
It is time to try something else because I am restless and nowhere. A friend takes me to this clinic and there is nothing that they can do. They call a deputy and he takes me to Tyler. This is the second time that the Law has enabled me to leave town and that is not a bad thing. Memory resounds through irony. He drops me off at the Salvation Army and I check in and go to sleep. We are still repeating steps.
II. COURTS OF FOLLY
I go to see the judge that presided over the hearing that I missed yesterday. His staff assures me that I am not bound for jail. This is more of my sister’s crap because I have not seen my parents and sister since Thanksgiving Eve, 2014. The hearing was about a restraining order that she had filed. I was presented with the summons five days before the hearing. I have no vehicle, phone, or money and she knew that it would be difficult to go to Tyler.
This is building credibility through a paper trail. One may hide behind the law via building credibility through a paper trail. This is manipulation and the judge and others will unwittingly aid in her endeavors. She declined every offer of reconciliation. Once our parent’s retirement house was sold, they were put into a home. Who knows what happened to the money?
III. HOSPITAL
I wait for a van to retrieve me at 4:30 to take me to the hospital. The van driver says that I should go ahead and eat while he collects other people. He returns at 6:30 and we drive to UTMB. When I am ready to be collected, he tells me to call the number that I was given.
The doctor’s name is Screach or something of that nature. I overlook the smart-ass comment of a week’s worth of my prescription. We chat and he tells me that he trusts me and then flashes this toothy grin and then the grin is gone. He is the second guy to flash a toothy grin and then dial it out as fast as it came. This may be a seasonal trend for suburban men.
IV. TAKE A BREAK WITH A SMART COCKTAIL
The recipe’s ingredients are a soft angst produced by social conditioning and a mild sociopath vanity. This is to be shaken until one achieves a nervous foam. One then quickly pours the elixir into a glass until the foam dissolves within room temperature. Six days later, one determines if the concoction has achieved sediment or algae. If that is so, then drink quickly until the sour face seems frozen in time. This drink has no buzz or pleasant taste. It’s purpose is to retain the freeze-face until he can be bitched-slap. Sour face then becomes pain face and that can be mistaken for an orgasm face. The agony and the ecstasy roll into one douche bag of a man.
V. RESUMING TRAUMA
I get the prescription and then I call the retrieval number. The Salvation Army tells me that the van does not run this late. Hospital chapels give the isolation that one needs to think. The chapel is a small room with an alter and the Bible is opened to Psalm 23 and there is an inscription that almost seems written for me.
I spent the evening reading aloud Psalm 23 and about ten chapters from Job. I pray and then sleep for a while. I am at peace with things. I needed a nice evening. I wake up at 4:30 a.m. and it takes forever to walk back to the Salvation Army. It is cold, rainy, and I do not know Tyler. My sense of direction is worse than normal.
VI. SURPRISING TURNS
Everyone is a pessimist. I am not going to worry about getting the prescription filled because somehow it is going to be a good day. I leave the library and walk to a Baptist church. Church and family are a schizoid pair. They screw me and I return to give them more chances. Emotional connects to bad thinking is not good.
There is no plan or intent. I want to talk to the brethren. I want the connect of having someone feel what I am saying. Without empathy, I remain alone on a page. Being alone can get old. I am not sure how it happened, but the gentleman made a phone call and took care of my prescription. A week’s supply is only twelve dollars, but I could tell that he wrestled with this. I am sympathetic and somehow proud of him. I had tried to get him to check out my web sites. He says that you can not see the real person merely through their writings. What about that ‘Bible’ thing that so many revere. Despite his discomfort, he did the right thing. And then I resume getting lost while finding the pharmacy.
VII. WOLVES WITHIN THE FOLD
Against my better judgement, I choose to follow the rules and let the Salvation Army dispense my medicine. Things are okay for a few days. There is a readjustment period for my sleep patterns. I get up around three or four in the morning. While I am up, the desk person believes that no one is sleeping in my cot. So he strips the bed and takes my stuff. I think that it is funny at first. Upon reflection, one must ask why anyone would strip a bed while others sleep. Later on, my stuff mysteriously reappears under the cot. A few days later, I will wonder what happened to my change. That change was all that I had.
The next day I rise early and go to take my medicine. I mention that a tablet is missing. The desk person thinks this is an opportunity for debate. I mention that everything is in even numbers and that shuts him up. Later on, the missing tablet mysteriously reappears, except that it has been broken and there is about a quarter of a piece that is missing. I get some convoluted story about the tablet getting in between this knife blade that is in my medicine box behind the desk. I do not respond. I know that I am OCD about these things. My ritual is to check and double check. I am fluent in recognizing practices of ‘gaslighting’. Naturally, the demeanor of the desk person changes back and forth.
The day after and it is the medicine hour. There is more missing from the broken tablet. This is utterly pathetic. I resume with allowing the desk person to give themselves away. The more they talk, the more nervous they become. There are always wolves within the fold of sheep and I have found their wolf.
by El-Pooh!
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