I. SLOW GONE HELL
It is another miserable afternoon. My stuff is by the street again. It is hot. I am wanting my stuff and none of it is in sight. The cops come and we look around. Nada. He asks me questions and I answer to the best of my knowledge. In the end, I lose again. All of my stuff is on the street. I call a friend of mine to see if he can help me move. He says no. I finally call someone that I used to work for and his assistant comes by to help me.
Naturally, I have to pick up my prescription today. The assistant is kind enough to take me by the doctor and I solve that problem. I am out of answers and we go to a Redemption House outpost to talk to a friend/counselor. I am somewhat dubious because David has been previously in her head. When I get there, I realize that he is still there. I can not store my stuff there. I definitely can not stay there. I am looking at the house and noting the square feet. This place could sleep a lot of people. In theory, it could temporarily solve half of the homeless problem in Anderson County. I am not surprised that this was a waste of time. My heart is not even broken over the place. It is not broken because I never glued it back together. Nevertheless, these ministries are utterly clueless.
The assistant states that I can put stuff at the back of his place. I have to be out by Saturday. I am grateful. I get it in my head that I want to clear out before then. I want to do this simply because I wish to properly leave some place. In the end, I leave Friday night and at least I got that part right.
II. PLAYED AND REPLAYED
Then again, maybe I was used again. At first, I felt bad about ditching some stuff that I had acquired. It was meant to sell and give to friends and I felt horrible about that aspect. He did not seem to mind. Later on, something telling had issued from one of his statements. He already had some buyers for these items. These ladies were the same dealers on my list. I must wonder if I had been played. He could afford patience and the ability to press and play a certain matter would have also been in that realm. Most likely, I was played again. Then again, who knows: one can not let paranoia become the substitute for facts.
When I had first arrived, I was settling the cats and two of the kittens were beneath the truck. I was uneasy, but he had started the truck and the kittens paid no attention to it. As he began to move, one of the kittens moved and he ran over it. My heart broke and I started to cry. You get this dumb/funny/anguish look on your face when your skull has been smashed. I mercy-killed the kitten and wailed like a ravaged banshee. My heart was beyond broken, it was a finely ground paste. The whole scene is embedded in my skull and to see life extinguished so immediately for no good reason cheapens this whole affair of living. Make no mistake, it was not his fault, but mine. I should have acted instead of relying on momentary appearances.
Later on, he returned and I could tell that he saw the kitten. I know that he heard me. No response and this was unsettling. A strange and intuitive glance and maybe I was too ready to leave. Danger is danger and probably best that such things must be done. I am broken again. I am grateful to him for helping me out. I appreciate the kindness.
III. THE WAKING DEAD
I called one friend and it is debatable if he broke his word or I was not paying close enough attention to his words. In the end, he blew me off. My consolation prize is one without a truck, but I will take anything. We got everything to the hill behind a shop. All day has been exhausting. I drag everything around and then around four a.m. I pile the mess on the hill. Among the mess and the cats...I drop out.
I sleep the sleep of the dead. I wake around noon on the hill and in public view. I am dirty and tired. Earlier that morning, Montezuma was walking his dogs and they had woken me while chasing the cats. I went back out. Eventually, I would get it all out of sight. Eventually, I would get a shower and such. It was long and grueling within an ache best rescinded by the soul in its wake.
Later, I see Ray-Beam. I inform him that the stuff on the hill is mine. This is stated because I fancy him as somewhat as a friend. Later on, another friend tells me that she had seen Computer Dude go up the hill. I retrieve some of the more important things. In the end, I get ripped off a few more times. I am almost down to nil. I feed some of the cats on the hill. Most go back to Montezuma’s. It is a good move. Kismet still waits for me to visit.
All of this anguish comes from two sociopath retards that have instigated this crap: my Dad and sister. What they fear will be delivered: the truth.
A DROLL CHAOS + NATIVES 9 + LEAGUE OF DREAD
by El-Pooh!
No comments:
Post a Comment