X15 MANIPULATION AND PARADOX

7 DEC 2016 - 2 JAN 2017   SALVATION ARMY #2   TYLER, TEXAS

VIII. CHURCH 

It is Sunday. I am told that their church services are essentially singing songs and a brief message. Depth is my desire because I miss church being a transcendental experience. I open my laptop in a parking garage, read aloud ten more chapters of Job, I pray, and then I feel better. That was church.

IX. GRINDING DOWN HOPE

It is another day and I am taking care of things on my list. I walk for two hours to a place that deals with human trafficking. Nobody is at home and I watch people come, go, and no one knows anything about the owner. I am desperate for answers. I looked forward to this place. I walk back.

The next day, it takes an hour to walk to Andrews Behavioral Clinic. They do not deal with my prescription. Halfway through the intake, I fall between the cracks of the system again. 

The Salvation Army is a system and that is part of the problem. Not everyone is alike and situations are different. It almost seems as if The Salvation Army is geared to a particular type of individual with a particular type of hardship. If you do not fall within this limited criteria, then that is too bad for you. This can also be construed as a pre-judgment and that is a ‘prejudice’. The Bible states that it is wrong to judge and here you have a Church that is somewhat based upon a certain ‘prejudice’. 

There is segment of this population who do not drink or do drugs. They fell into poverty through no fault of their own. One person lost his wife and emotional losses can be devastating. Another person got a divorce, another had medical bills, and my situation has been endlessly displayed on this site. Them and myself fall in between these mindless system. We are supposed to be people and not cattle. 

X. INEPTITUDE INCORPORATED

On December 23, 2016 someone spilled a plate of food in the ice machine. This was noticed on Tuesday when the machine died. I want to throw up in my mouth. I would guess that Tyler has a health department. The building is also riddled with black mold. One of the residents took pictures of her bedbug bites and put some of the bugs in a plastic bag. She showed it to them and they denied it with the evidence clearly in front of them.   

One is supposed to be assigned a case worker when they arrive. I got my case worker two weeks into this endeavor. On top of that, they lost my file. So I had to go back and fill out my file again and they told me to place the date that I arrived on those documents.

I did not give them permission to film, photograph, or use anything about me in their promotional endeavors. I made a big deal about this because I wanted them to know. What did they do? Film me without my consent. 

XI. HAVING DRUGS IS THE ENTRY FEE

I get kicked out of the Salvation Army because I do not have drugs. I drop out if I do not have medication. The first time that I dropped out at the Salvation Army, they found me in the dark in the library. I have no idea how long I was out. The second drop occurred in the day-room with people around. They called an ambulance. 

I have been through this countless times and I know the routine. I drop out because of the lack of medicine. The prescription that only my physician can write is what fixes the problem. East Texas hospitals do not like to write these prescriptions. The paramedics and I both know this and we agree that it is pointless to go. I declined the hospital ride because I have already been through the outcome. Why tread old ground? I can not appease everyone by walking through the same, useless cycle. This becomes evident if one looks at the medical records. Dropping out is not my fault. However they kicked me out of the place because of this. 

XII. REWIND

Before this, I asked the director to go with me to the hospital because I thought that an advocate on my behalf would be helpful for all involved. She said that they have a clinical advocate. She put him on the speaker phone and this guy was all about manipulation. The only thing that this guy advocates is his own precious and delicate ego. In the end, he said that I could not have my medication on the premises. 

For obvious reasons, I am not thinking clearly. When the conversation is done, I am a wreck. I wind up talking to the director and somehow I get on the subject of my niece. The big weepy one hits me. My family swept my niece under the rug. I am also being swept under that same rug.

Before this, I had my medication administered to me by the staff. Those are the rules and all of that. Someone behind that desk pilfered one of my tablets. I am not supposed to have my medication on me, the staff is supposed to look after it. They did more than look: someone took.

Before this, I first arrive at the Salvation Army and the director says that having my medication cut-off is a dangerous thing. She had me taken to the emergency room so that I could get it. I get a week’s prescription. It was not enough to get anything done. 

In essence, the Salvation Army will not allow me to have my medication. In turn, I get kicked out because of the side effects of not being on my medication. You have just been through one my Catch-22s. If something seems to be a dead-end, then look again. Dead-ends come from walls placed within your path or the cul-de-sac of hopeless circles. The notion of paradox appears like a dead-end. Manipulators make those paradoxes if one allows and accepts their line of reason. Futility comes from the hands of fools that want others beneath them. The desire to be on top is a common ache of the vain. Making a pathetic heap that you can rule comes from the inept, disenchanted, and the fearfully vain.  

MANIPULATION AND PARADOX   +   X-RAY FAITH 15   +   LEAGUE OF DREAD
by El-Pooh!