My world is falling and at the moment...I just want to become unhinged and get everything out. I miss Kismet more than anything. I miss Kismet, Gizmo, Sabu, Ginsu, Jacob, and El-Gato more than anything else in the world. El-Gato acclimated himself to me because he kept getting beat-up and I would bandage his wounds and look after him. Jacob’s owners left her in a tree all night and I climbed the tree and got her down. She moved in like a stalker girlfriend. Sabu, Ginsu, Gizmo, and Kismet entered the scene because Jacob got knocked-up. Females let the males believe that they selected them. In truth, the females choose. I never bothered with such delusions, I expect females to choose me. I also understand that Jacob knew that I was a soft touch when our paths crossed. She and I had an understanding. I doted on her children. They have known me since the moment that they were born. I wept because they were so frail and beautiful. I was moved by the natural order of things. It was nice to love and touching to be loved back. They also prove the point of 1 John 4:18.
“There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because
fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.”
I would walk home at two a.m. and the lot of them would meet me in the street walk me the rest of the way home. They would actually behave and they would come when I called them by name. They would pile upon me and that is how we slept at night. I talked to them. I played with them. I lavished attention on them because I adored them. For a year and three months we lived in a dirty shed with no heat, air conditioning, water, or anything. That was home and now I miss it because they were there. That was the only home that I had known for a long time. My family assailed and abandoned me but they made that okay because we were all together.
II. ‘BECAUSE’ IS AN ARTFUL REASON
Someone had once asked why I bothered to get them down from a tree or whatever they got into. My reply was that I never wanted to pass on an opportunity to let them know that they are loved. They knew that they were loved and that made them fearless. In the last few years, they were also the only creatures that loved me back.
Who did I love the most? My reply was that love is not fashioned after the trifling of hierarchies because love is love. Another aspect to love is that the most beloved is one whose need to be loved surpasses all others at that moment. If love is not operating at optimal capacity, then one needs to be filled. Love must always be a filled vessel. The most favored is the empty vessel because they need the time to be reassured that they matter. All ache must be soothed, all loneliness must be dissolved, and all fears disappear when love abides. Love needs nothing other, save itself.
I had not had pets since childhood. Then again, I did not think of them as pets, they were friends and the only family that I had. I was not a pet person, much less cats. However, I did notice that cat culture mirrors human culture and fear has been the most favored subject for study during the last few years. Irony is life’s way of laughing back at you. It is ironic that I got into cats because they are sensitive and fearful by nature. Cats are whores too. They originated the ‘Baby Mama, Baby Daddy’ thing. My cats were different. They were loved.
III. SHAMELESS CAN BE GOOD
The world is ruthless and those around me were part of that scum. Someone cut Gizmo. I wept. I doted on Gizmo. Gizmo and Kismet are orange, Tabby cats. Their Dad is the only animal that ever bit me. I deserved it. I had to look into their eyes in order to distinguish between Gizmo and Kismet. Gizmo had deep orange eyes and Kismet’s eyes had a greener tint. In getting close to tell them apart, Kismet began to gather more attention. Kismet was a bit of a loner and by default and so doing someone accidentally gets loved.
I get evicted by illegal aliens and I try to take the cats with me. I have nowhere to go and I do not get all of the cats. It was a disaster. I watched two new kittens die. We stay in scary places. I felt like ghetto mom trying to raise her kids right in the ‘hood. I would never dumpster dive for food, but I did for those cats. In love, one can withstand humiliation to protect the object of your affection. They were my light among the pedophiles and creepy people within our midst.
In the end, we return near to where we used to stay. The cats slowly drift back to our former abode. Kismet was the exception. Then Jacob joined Kismet. For some reason, Kismet is the only one that I have in pictures. Love rewards love. In referring to Kismet I refer to them all. I also refer to Kismet.
One day, they vanished. I still return to search for them. Evil people remain where we used to stay. My heart is broken. Things have always abruptly appeared and disappeared in my life. I despise Anderson County for its mediocrity because the pettiness of evil has taken everything that I have loved. The most endeared affections have been whored out as if it were a cheap confection. Vain ministries prostitute the Gospel all for the sake of filthy lucre. The petty gossip, the weak and fearful stab you in the back, cowards stand for nothing, liars meddle in all lives, the judgmental drains all innocence, and evil hurts the one you love:
Kismet.
LOVE’S DOTED FORM + NONATOMAS 12 + LEAGUE OF DREAD
by El-Pooh!
1 comment:
Some things need to be experienced to be understood.
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